worn & aged

after what feels like a century, i’m back to blogging again. sometimes you just miss the routine, and when you do, everything just erupts. i can’t even remember when my last entry was, but i sure do miss wordpress. my life’s been really hectic the past few weeks, not that i am swamped with work, but for once, i am talking about my personal life. there’s been a lot going on and and i got a lot of pimples to prove it. hey i’m not even in love or something, i guess i got a lot of pimples due to lack of sleep. last week was the worst i guess, been home after midnight everyday, and still manage to work the following day. it’s mostly spend with friends or having a drink or 2, i guess the only time i was home early was on friday, which was due to the fact that i had to attend ares’s wedding the following day, i need to rest my eyes coz dark circles are beginning to show and it’s not good to see, not to mention my ugly looking pimpled face. so the wedding took off very successfully. probably one of the most solemn i’ve attended so far, i mean there are only a few guests at the church and at the reception and it went smoothly. i rarely listen to sermons but i have to admit that i learned a lot from the priest’s sermon, i just don’t like the priest coz he doesn’t make eye contact, makes his sermon somewhat less convincing. anyway i was also invited to the after wedding-dinner party. it was held at ares’s place, and most of the covers & interior boys were there, along with some other friends and relatives. as usual red horse flowed like water, only there weren’t enuf ice to last us til morning hehe. it was still early so i joined cio and some ims guys. i ended up drinking more beer, but i couldn’t care less, my crush was there and boy it feels like i’m sixteen again *blush* *blush*. i got introduced to him last january, and i don’t think he remembers me though, we never exchanged words then, but last saturday, we sort of talked, you know the senseless nonesense stuff, but who cares? i was already tipsy when i joined them so i guess i got kapal-muks already. they wanted to sing, so we went to mango square and had an hour to burn. we’re all wasted so it’s time to go home.

the summer rain has come to pass, the sun is shining clearly with super intensity. yet my vision is blurry—mind is somewhere else, i’m caught between the whirlwind of my soul. for a brief period i felt alive again. i never wish to feel this way again but all good things come to pass, yet a part of you remained. i dunno what’s more shocking, whether it is the realization that i felt something for you or is it the fact that we could never be together. i’m not even sure why i am allowing myself to feel this way, when all i can ever gain from it is PAIN. sometimes i am so wary of relationships coz all it ever brought me was constant torment. but i am thankful despite everything, coz it shows that i am capable of loving someone again despite the hitches. i am thankful that no matter how short-lived our moment was, it felt like a life-time. words aren’t enough to describe my confusion, but life has to go on…

sometimes i wonder why i fall for the wrong types… or do i?