worn & aged

the summer rain has come to pass, the sun is shining clearly with super intensity. yet my vision is blurry—mind is somewhere else, i’m caught between the whirlwind of my soul. for a brief period i felt alive again. i never wish to feel this way again but all good things come to pass, yet a part of you remained. i dunno what’s more shocking, whether it is the realization that i felt something for you or is it the fact that we could never be together. i’m not even sure why i am allowing myself to feel this way, when all i can ever gain from it is PAIN. sometimes i am so wary of relationships coz all it ever brought me was constant torment. but i am thankful despite everything, coz it shows that i am capable of loving someone again despite the hitches. i am thankful that no matter how short-lived our moment was, it felt like a life-time. words aren’t enough to describe my confusion, but life has to go on…

sometimes i wonder why i fall for the wrong types… or do i?